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I began my current sobriety journey in September, the same month I had Covid, and I was essentially confined to bed and couch. These two events coinciding means that I gained weight. A bit of weight. Quite a bit, if you must know. So, against my (not so much) better… Read more.
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for the person who spent years indulging every single whim they ever had and now cannot produce their own dopamine (i wrote this in my journal a couple months ago + will type it up in the morning because i procrastinate everything. i have no dopamine.) Read more.
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My coworker’s truck in front of my house, while he counts out Adderall for me. I am probably 9 beers in. It’s 11am on a Tuesday. Maybe Thursday. He asks how I’m doing, but it’s rhetorical. I am obviously not doing great. He hands my pills over and before he… Read more.
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I have to always be honest or there’s no point to any of this. I relapsed for a week from Sunday, 12.12, to Saturday, 12.18. Last drink at 7am that morning. Learning from it and moving on – new sobriety date of 12.19.21 and plenty of lessons learned along the… Read more.
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Day two of my 2nd stint in rehab, morning meditation A counselor is making his way through the great room, to the podium in the center, when he stops directly in front of me. Somehow recognizes me from my IOP program there five years earlier. Good memory. I can’t imagine… Read more.
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if you write your blog titles like news headlines, it really drives home how your life is meaningless + that most people don’t give a shit about the banality of the lives of others so without booze, i haven’t felt much of anything besides general indifference. no pink cloud, no… Read more.
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Pinterest rabbit hole day. while half-ass cleaning up some boards to justify how long i’d been on that timesuck of a website, i found a pin i’d saved about structuring your schedule when unemployed. i laughed + laughed + laughed before remembering i am actually trying to organize my entire… Read more.
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Just skimmed my 2018 post, rolled my eyes the entire time. Must have written a hundred similar ones across dozens of notebooks, social media posts, Tumblr for sure.. always sure that I’d finally figured it out that time. Well, 3 years later, I’m here and sober for real, and I… Read more.
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i hate writing about myself but since this is the first post, i guess it’s expected. i mainly started this blog to have somewhere i could write about my struggles with alcohol and sobriety, but also as a general holding place for the shit that goes through my head. i’m… Read more.
I too am not a bit tamed—I too am untranslatable
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Month Discover: Henri Rousseau's Virgin Forest with Sunset (1910). Original from the Kunstmuseum Basel Museum.
I too am not a bit tamed—I too am untranslatable 