I too am not a bit tamed—I too am untranslatable

Tag: prose

  • Walt Whitman Said It Better Than I Ever Could

    Walt Whitman Said It Better Than I Ever Could

    These are the strange in-between days,

    a fever dream I can’t escape,

    the unsettling quiet after the war.

    But is it after or is it before?

    Stuck in purgatory in this place.

    All I ever wanted was more.

  • Lizard plays dress up

    Lizard plays dress up

    I muck about in my ill-fitting skin.

    I grind my jawbone into grit. 

    I waft and I waver, and I wait and I wait. 

    My scaly shoulders suffer in the thick air. 

    It’s putrid, even rancid; every inhale burns. 

    I can’t stay here. 

    I make it halfway down the road,

    I let out a chilling scream then, and turn around.

    My sandpaper tongue probes the spaces between the dentin of my teeth.

    I lick the sediment from my gums and I wait and I seethe. 

    Oh, this alien skin. 

    I grimace, spitting out sawdust remnants. 

    The first scale has sloughed off and hangs suspended halfway down my back. 

    I am reptilian. I am panicking, and wishing for the grace that I lack. 

    A quick glance around, but I no longer care who sees. 

    I unzip this human suit, step out. 

    No, I step in. To myself. To me.

  • the luxury of a Marlboro menthol cigarette.

    I’ve been smoking Lucky Strikes for weeks because they’re cheap and I’m dirt floor poor in this season of my life.

    This Marlboro black menthol 100 feels absolutely fucking luxurious. I savor each and every drag and exhale slowly, watch the smoke trail away, little wisps in the air.

    I shouldn’t have bought them. They’re two dollars more per pack, and that starts hurting quick when you’re a pack (and some change) a day smoker. But goddamn I just wanted to feel Not Poor for a few minutes.

    I sit on my front porch and I stub out the cigarette and immediately light another, and for a few moments I am the richest person on earth.

    (Disclaimer: I’m very aware that cigarettes are terrible for humans and that I’m having a moment and romanticizing my crippling nicotine addiction.)