ants attack the anxiety
you folded neatly into the basket,
between the potato salad
and my love for you.
they swarm,
as if your neuroticism
were made of sugar
instead of trauma.
the picnic is ruined and
the day is too.
i fucking hate ants.
ants attack the anxiety
you folded neatly into the basket,
between the potato salad
and my love for you.
they swarm,
as if your neuroticism
were made of sugar
instead of trauma.
the picnic is ruined and
the day is too.
i fucking hate ants.
These are the strange in-between days,
a fever dream I can’t escape,
the unsettling quiet after the war.
But is it after or is it before?
Stuck in purgatory in this place.
All I ever wanted was more.
I muck about in my ill-fitting skin.
I grind my jawbone into grit.
I waft and I waver, and I wait and I wait.
My scaly shoulders suffer in the thick air.
It’s putrid, even rancid; every inhale burns.
I can’t stay here.
I make it halfway down the road,
I let out a chilling scream then, and turn around.
My sandpaper tongue probes the spaces between the dentin of my teeth.
I lick the sediment from my gums and I wait and I seethe.
Oh, this alien skin.
I grimace, spitting out sawdust remnants.
The first scale has sloughed off and hangs suspended halfway down my back.
I am reptilian. I am panicking, and wishing for the grace that I lack.
A quick glance around, but I no longer care who sees.
I unzip this human suit, step out.
No, I step in. To myself. To me.