I too am not a bit tamed—I too am untranslatable

Tag: addiction

  • little fragments

    Day two of my 2nd stint in rehab, morning meditation

    A counselor is making his way through the great room, to the podium in the center, when he stops directly in front of me. Somehow recognizes me from my IOP program there five years earlier. Good memory. I can’t imagine how many clients have come and gone (and come and gone and come and gone).

    I remember him too and I am sleep deprived and substance free against my will. No mood for whatever sarcastic shit I’m about to hear.

    “What the fuck are you doing back here, Kirsten? Not enough fun for you the first time around?” I feel like this is a stupid question that deserves a stupid answer.

    “Can’t seem to quit fucking my life up. It’s this goddamn booze. You guys gonna fix me this time?”

  • hi, hello

    i hate writing about myself but since this is the first post, i guess it’s expected. i mainly started this blog to have somewhere i could write about my struggles with alcohol and sobriety, but also as a general holding place for the shit that goes through my head.

    i’m 28 and my life for the most part has been wonderful, until my sudden and rapid descent into alcoholism in my early 20s. in the last 8 years, my addiction has singlehandedly fucked up my entire life.

    i won’t go into too much detail because i was a really, really shitty person up until a few months ago. suffice it to say, i put my addiction before anything else in my life and subsequently lost nearly everything i hold dear.

    i’m arguably still shitty in other ways, namely being entirely too self-absorbed, totally unmotivated 85% of the time, and my decidedly unhealthy relationships with men.

    i really am trying to be a decent human being these days, and i hope this blog will help me in achieving that goal.